I was a jerk today. I was at the mall. Outside, in the designated smoking area, smoking a cigarette. Minding my own business, browsing the web on my cellular device, when seemingly out of nowhere (and I say that because with a person as large as she was, I don't know how I didn't see or smell her coming) this gigantic whale of a female (and I say female based solely on the size of 'her' breasts - and no, not good big) approaches me. She says, with a smirk, "Cigarettes cause cancer." That's where the hobbling fact machine fucked up. You see, I was just minding my own business until she decided that my business was her business. And if my business was hers, the inverse must also be true. I took two steps back, so that I could see the whole of her, and said "Yeah, well food causes obesity. Why don't you conquer your own vices before worrying about those of others? Mind your own business, you atrocity of a human being and leave me alone." She stood there, shocked. Until her son that was approximately six times the size that he should have been for a child his age started crying. Her eyes went big, and without saying another word the whale retreated to her car that was parked in the nearest handicapped space. I was a jerk today.
Being a freshman in college seems very exciting- that is, until you actually are freshman in college. Once you get to that 'pivotal' year you realize that it isn't anything special. It isn't hard. It isn't exhilarating. It is; however, very stressful, time consuming, and rather boring. The freshman "experience" is nothing to look forward too.
Filler classes, for example, take up a large majority of your time. They're boring, and designed for failure. These "core classes" are required for everything regardless of how much they relate to your major. Failing one of these classes, even though they have absolutely nothing to do with what you want to do in life, will prevent you from going any further. You need to pass your English 101, even if you plan on majoring in math.
Time management is a concept that most freshmen have yet to grasp, resulting in a mega-ton of wasted time and just as much stress. Unfortunately, time management is very crucial when attempting to pass your "core" classes. Surprisingly time management is not a prerequisite class; though, I digress- I wouldn't want to give them any more crazy ideas.
What effect – positive or negative – do you think television has had on your life? What would your life be like without it?
I am not a regular viewer of television. I do not loyally oblige hours upon hours of
my time to the dancing picture box. I do not sit on the couch with my eyes glued to the
screen, and perhaps most importantly: I never lets television run my life. I believe that by
following that most important rule, the only effects that television has had on my life
have been positive. When I do watch T.V, which is a rarity in itself, it is with my friends.
We have a lot of good times together in front of the mesmerizing screen, with lots of
good laughs. My life, without television, would be same – for the most part. My friends
and I would just have to find other things to laugh at when we’re bored as the television
has brought us together in a way that nothing else could: by giving us something that we
all could make fun of.
Write an essay in which you consider the effects (including any possiblefuture effects) on the American family of one of these inventions: the cell phone, email, the microwave, the VRC and DVD player, the iPod, or Xbox.
“Heat it up” has become the catch-phrase of one-time stay at home mothers all
across the country, and this has changed the face of the American family. The microwave
allows for much more than just faster cooking, it allows for more leftovers to be served
with little to no effort. It encourages the use of McDonalds and other take-out kings,
because anything that isn’t eaten on the first day can just be tossed in the microwave and
eaten the next day. The microwave changed American culture more than just in the
The ability to cook things with ease frees the mother from this one-time shackling
job, allowing her to get a job outside of her own kitchen. She doesn’t have to be home
when her kids get home to cook them a snack, because the kids can toss last nights dinner
in the microwave to heat it up, and that will certainly hold them over until that night’s
dinner, which will be cooked in half the time it used to take when the mother gets home
from work. The microwave also increases the number of “ready-to- serve” frozen foods.
Pizza rolls, Bagel bites, and many other frozen foods require the microwave to be work.
Lastly, the microwave destroyed the typical 6p.m. dinner. Families no longer need
to sit down at six o-clock to eat, because if someone isn’t home they can heat up what
hasn’t been eaten. The microwave has changed the mother’s roll, what we eat, and how
we eat it – and that’s just the beginning.
Write a cause-and- effect essay discussing the positive effects of television on American society.
American society has greatly benefited from the invention of Television.
Television has created a lot of jobs – actors, cameramen, directors, writers, advertisers,
and many more – just on the creative side alone. It’s a multi-billion dollar industry, and
has flooded our economy with lots of money, which is good for us all. On a smaller scale,
television has benefited every individual to ever watch it. It has made us funnier, even if
hearing T.V. punch-lines at every turn does eventually get old. More importantly, it
brings people together. Time that would have otherwise been spent alone, doing some
hobby, is instead spent with a group of friends, circled around the screen, laughing at the
jokes and situations presented to them. Television also gives us something to talk about
when there is nothing else – “Hey, did you see the new American Idol!?” – making our
water-cooler conversations a lot more interesting. In all, television has certainly been a
positive thing for American society. From more money being made from the invention, to
having more things to talk about when we’re bored – television rocks.
Manliness grows on the face of men. It takes the form of facial hair, or more specifically:
beards. Beards truly are symbols of status, trophies of manhood, and the epitome of masculinity. There
is but one truth that I hold to be self evident in this world and it is that all real men have hair growing
from their chins. Ever since I was a child, I aspired to have a great beard. A beard to be remembered by,
recognized by, known by.
In ancient times beards have been status symbols. The Egyptians grew their beards in special
shapes, and wove gold into them. Egyptian Kings and Queens wore pastiche, or golden beards as
symbols of their power. Like many nations of the east, both India and Israel held beards in high regard.
The bear was allowed to grow long, as a symbol of dignity and wisdom. Beards were so sacred, people
would pledge on their beards that they would repay a debt.
Well, if you’re anything like me, you’re probably already wondering how you could get yourself
a beard of your own. Unfortunately it might be pretty tricky, or even impossible. Gender is the most
important factor, as females are not allowed to have beards. It violates nature. If you’re not female, you
might be able to grow a beard. The second most important factor is genetics. If you don’t have the
beard gene, you don’t have the beard gene. You’re beyond help, and will never reach the epitome of
masculinity. Tough luck.
So, you want a beard, and you fit into the large percentage of us that is actually able to grow
one. This comprehensive list will guide you along your way to manhood. Step one; commit yourself to
the beard. According to http://www.beards.org/ , growing a beard may require a bit courage, but real
men have courage anyway, and if you’re already this far there shouldn’t be a problem. Once you get the
courage to make the decision.. STICK WITH IT! This decision can easily be overturned on second though
with just the flick of a razor, so be determined.
Step two; Shave your face clean, get every last hair. Leave no survivors. Just as an artist starts
with a clean canvas, you will start with a shaven face. If it is your first beard, shave a couple more times
over the next week, to even things out. If you don’t do this, you risk having longer hairs poking out of
your beard at random places, which will make things more difficult later.
NOTE: I found an old school project- spend $1000 on stocks and track them for the school year and see who makes the most money. I did this project back in December 2008, almost 8 years ago now -- and I did not win. Here's the project in it's entirety-
Activision Blizzard (ATVI) is the first stock I chose to invest in. On Aug 28, 2008 one stock was trading for $16.77, and I purchased 9 shares for a total of $150.93. I purchased this stock because it is my favorite video game company, and a recent merger made it the largest video game company in the world. It has a few high-profile releases coming up in the near future, including Guitar Hero: World Tour and World of Warcraft: Wraith of the Lich King.
The second stock I chose to invest in is Electronic Arts, which trades at ERTS. On Aug 28, 2008 the closing cost was $46.82. At that price, I purchased 4 shares for a total of $187.28. ERTS is a major competitor to ATVI, and the entire video game industry is booming currently. ERTS, after acquiring multiple game studios, was the largest company until a recent merger between Activision and Blizzard, which put ATVI slightly ahead.
Diamond Offshore Drilling is the third company that I invested in. They trade as just DO. The closing price for this stock on Aug 28, 2008 was $108.42, and I only bought one stock—making the total spent on DO just $108.42. Diamond Offshore Drilling is a world leader in offshore drilling, with roots in companies founded as early as 1953. The eventual merger of ODECO, Zapata, and Diamond M lead to the creation of this oil giant. I opted to invest in this company because the price of oil has skyrocketed in recent months.
The next company is known as NOV, or National Oilwell Varco. On the 28th of Aug. 2008, one share cost $74.90 and I was only able to purchase one. The total amount I spent on this company was $74.90. I opted to invest in this company because Oil seems like a very solid investment, especially with gas being over $4/gallon. NOV leads the world in the design, manufacture and sale of all the things used to get fuel out of the ground. From Oilfield tubular inspection to internal tubular coatings, National Oilwell Varco is a prevalent company on the oil front.
The last company that I invested in is Exxon Mobile Corporation, traded as XOM. On Aug 28, 2008 one share in the company cost $78.71 and at that cost I purchased 6 shares. The total I spent on this stock was $472.26. XOM is my safest investment, being the most profitable company in the world; it won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. This years outrages fuel prices are sure to make the profits be even higher this year.
In conclusion, I spent a total of $993.79 on all of my stocks.
A line graph is an excellent tool to show changes in data, especially changes in data over a timeframe. In this project, the line graph is used to show the values of stocks from Aug 28 through Dec 1, and then a line of regression is used to predict the cost of said stock on Jan 1.
Activision Blizzard (ATVI) is the first stock I chose to invest in. On Aug 28, 2008 one stock was trading for $16.77, and I purchased 9 shares for a total of $150.93. On Dec 1, the closing cost fell to $10.53. I lost a total of $56.16.
The second stock I chose to invest in is Electronic Arts, which trades at ERTS. On Aug 28, 2008 the closing cost was $46.82. At that price, I purchased 4 shares for a total of $187.28. By Dec 1, the closing cost for this stock fell to $17.77. I lost a total of $116.20.
Diamond Offshore Drilling is the third company that I invested in. They trade as just DO. The closing price for this stock on Aug 28, 2008 was $108.42, and I only bought one stock—making the total spent on DO just $108.42. The closing cost on Dec 1 was $65.91, losing me $42.51.
The next company is known as NOV, or National Oilwell Varco. On the 28th of Aug. 2008, one share cost $74.90 and I was only able to purchase one. The total amount I spent on this company was $74.90. The closing cost by Dec 1, fell to a dismal $23.15. This lost me a total of $51.75.
The last company that I invested in is Exxon Mobile Corporation, traded as XOM. On Aug 28, 2008 one share in the company cost $78.71 and at that cost I purchased 6 shares. The total I spent on this stock was $472.26. XOM on Dec 1 was worth 74.31, and I lost a total of $26.40
In conclusion, I spent a total of $993.79 on all of my stocks, and lost a total of $293.02. Most importantly, I learned a lot about excel through trial and error. Excel is a powerful program, the inner-workings of which I can navigate through much better now than in the past. These are skills that will certainly come in handy in the future, be it for another class or for a job. I also learned not to invest in oil at the peak of it’s cost, from there is only has one place to go: down.
Name of Stock
Symbol
8-25 Closing
12-1 Closing
Number Purchased
Total Spend on Stock
Earn or (Loss)
Predicion Closing Jan 30, 2008
Activision Blizzard
ACTI
$ 16.77
$ 10.53
9
$ 150.93
$ (56.16)
######
Electronic Arts
ERTS
$ 46.82
$ 17.77
4
$ 187.28
$ (116.20)
######
Diamond Offshore Drilling
DO
$ 108.42
$ 65.91
1
$ 108.42
$ (42.51)
######
National Oilwell Varco
NOV
$ 74.90
$ 23.15
1
$ 74.90
$ (51.75)
######
Exxon Mobil Corporation
XOM
$ 78.71
$ 74.31
6
$ 472.26
$ (26.40)
#######
Total Earned or (Lost)
$ 993.79
$ (293.02)
STOCK MARKET PROJECT
This ends the old project. Now let's update the results!
Name of Stock
Symbol
8-25-08 Closing
8-4-16 Closing
Count
Total Spent
Current Value
Earn or -Loss
Activision Blizzard
ACTI
$16.77
$40.78
9
$150.93
$367.02
$216.09
Electronic Arts
ERTS
$46.82
$78.23
4
$187.28
$312.92
$125.64
Diamond Offshore Drilling
DO
$108.42
$21.36
1
$108.42
$21.36
-$87.06
National Oilwell Varco
NOV
$74.90
$32.56
1
$74.90
$32.56
-$42.34
Exxon Mobil Corporation
XOM
$78.71
$87.48
6
$472.26
$524.88
$52.62
Totals
$993.79
$1,258.74
$264.95
Freakin' BOOM! My $300 deficit has replaced itself with with a $250 profit!
Which sadly, still wouldn't have been enough to win.
There are many ways to express one's political ideology. Marches, speeches, essays, press releases, the spray-painting buildings, and movies. Just to list a few. Movies are frequently used as a catalyst, letting us know how a director looks at life, and politics—in a way that both holds our interest and is socially relevant. It's difficult to think of any movie that doesn't embrace at least one ideology, with only the scary movie series, which was largely an abortion of comedy, coming to mind.
Forrest Gump, despite what Tom Hanks has to say, is no exception. This film touches upon many political hot-topics, and questions the traditional way of life. The Film follows a semi-retarded character through history; from his humble beginnings of being treated poorly in school, to his becoming a very rich shrimper and investor, nothing terribly exciting happens. It does; however, take many side-shots at both popular culture and the United States government. Tom Hanks is wrong when he says "The film is non-political and thus non-judgmental," as will be evident shortly.
Forrest Gump is a very conservative film. It puts the traditional, simple life in the limelight and shows it triumph over the drug induced pop-culture. The traditional life is played and exemplified by Forrest Gump. The counter-Forrest character, Jenny, Is a drug-doing culture queen who lives life like the average liberal at the time. In the eyes of the director, Forrest is showing that it is so easy to live the conservative life and be happy that you could do it even with an IQ of seventy-five. Jenny, on the other hand, is popular, liberal, and miserable. To Juxtapose:
Forrest was born with a low IQ, and legs that didn't quite look right. The children he went to school with were unrelenting in their insults. Often chasing him home, throwing stones at him. Jenny on the other hand was cute, popular, and probably intelligent. Forrest grows up, plays football, then goes into the army and fights in the Vietnam War. Jenny grows up, gets into drugs, and protests the Vietnam War. Forrest is sent to China to play a diplomatic game of Ping Pong. Jenny becomes a stripper. Even though Forrest is borderline retarded, he lives a much better life and is much happier than the woman of his dreams. Why? Because he lived like a conservative and because of that, fate and luck were kind to him.
The director uses Jenny to exemplify the evils of liberalism. At the beginning of the movie, you quickly come to dislike Jenny. She is portrayed as a character filled with inner-conflict, unworthy of your trust, and we look down upon her for not dating Forrest. Then, she gets into drugs. From this point forward, anything she does is equated to something only an evil drug addict could do. So, he places her as a semi-major player in the Vietnam protests. Jenny only lives long enough to marry Forrest, as soon after doing so she dies of what was probably AIDs, to which the reaction is: Serves her right for being a slut who rejected Forrest for all of her life.
All of this points to one logical conclusion—if you live the conservative life, fate will take care of you. Forrest had next-to-no controll over what happened in his life, he simply wasn't intelligent enough. But good stuff happened to him anyway.
Forrest Gump does more than just play up the conservative life. It also depicts the American govern to be a clumsy, uncaring bureaucracy—that is often on the wrong side of issues.. Throughout the movie, Forrest stumbles into an overabundance of important historical events. Interestingly, almost all of them portray the American government in a negative light. Be it Watergate, Vietnam, or the protests of the desegregation of southern schools, Mr. Gump seems to land in some of the darker spots of American history. This was by no mistake of the director. He intends and succeeds in making the audience mistrust and dislike the American government. Showing these events from the point-of-view of a retarded person who thinks that they're silly highlights the hate that American's harbor for these events. Using these events, from the point of view of Forrest, the director painted the government to clumsy, awarding the slow gentleman with a Medal of Honor, on national T.V., while he stands there dumbfounded and drops his pants.
The release date for this film in 1994 puts it in an interesting point in history. It postdates the Americans with Disabilities Act, which Forrest would easily qualify for. Depicting Forrest to be retarded, yet functional shows the directors dislike for the Act. If Forrest can do it, why can't anyone else? Also, the film Predates the Republican Revolution of 1994, even if only slightly. It'd be hard to believe that a popular film with such subtle conservative values didn't combine with Gingrich's Contract with American to assist in the vast conservative power gains of that year. Interestingly, Entertainment Weekly had a similar take.
Both answers are the same; the fates of Newt Gingrich and Forrest Gump are inextricably linked. Just as few in Washington forecast the Grand Old Party's avalanche at the polls in November, few souls in Hollywood could have guessed the huge magnitude of Gump fever at ticket booths. In both cases, a heretofore taciturn slice of the American pie — call it a '90s take on Richard Nixon's silent majority — defied the pundits and cast a vote for a mixed message of candy-apple nostalgia and stern virtue. On screen, Forrest the soldier got into a scrape with a hippie. In real life, Newt declared war on ''counterculture McGoverniks.'' Coincidence? You decide. (Gordinier)
The film was very popular at its time of release; it was even the top grossing film of the year. People loved it then, and they still do today. "Pat Buchanan, the conservative columnist, describes Forrest as one "who always does the decent, honorable thing" -- a Hollywood surprise that sneaked though the politically correct screeners." (Fields) Today, Forrest Gump holds onto its spot of 17thtop grossing film of all times.
Forrest Gump, despite what Tom Hanks has to say, is no exception. This film touches upon many political hot-topics, and questions the traditional way of life. The Film follows a semi-retarded character through history; from his humble beginnings of being treated poorly in school, to his becoming a very rich shrimper and investor, nothing terribly exciting happens. It does; however, take many side-shots at both the American Government and popular culture. Tom Hanks is wrong when he says "The film is non-political and thus non-judgmental," as will be evident shortly.
As evident, Forrest Gump was anything but "non-political" as most movies are not. Once again, Tom Hanks is wrong.
There are many ways to express one's political ideology. Marches, speeches, essays, press releases, the spray-painting buildings, and movies. Just to list a few. Movies are frequently used as a catalyst, letting us know how a director looks at life, and politics—in a way that both holds our interest and is socially relevant. The director of Forrest Gump uses this catalyst to reach into our inner psyche, and instill conservative values.
For the past few weeks, I have felt severely out of place and inadhesive to anything worthwhile. My qualitative wist has been snared into an inaccessible container. And I feel like an upside pineapple cake... structured immensely dysfunctional and tasting utterly horrid. My compelling significance is rendered useless, and every immaculate principle I have strived to advocate has collapsed in on itself through a redundant process of ingenuine innovation. I need no longer this shell of a body to displace any value, but a dissipated nebula of which exists for a sole purpose of isolation...
To cradle the nights,
And commune in binary,
To simmer faith,
And channel supernatural evidence that your god cannot provide.
I am a catalyst of which decides death and what remains. Truth be told, that there is more truth to than what you believe, regardless of meaning. I sign this doctrine in peace and goodnight, for I laminate its soul in divine proportions to its natural medium. Simply put... this very piece will destroy itself and burns its meaning like everything's future... and I mean everything.
